Horseshit!(diggin‘ the new format) Entertainment Weekly has decided on the “100 new movie classics of the last 25 years” so everyone fire up your queue. Part of their top 1000(movies music, books, etc.) double issue, the list does include some classics (spidey 2, scissorhands, memento) that you can check out here, but I take serious issue with the top three.
Yes, I understand EW is mainstream media in the truest sense. Yes, these movies made ass-tons of cash. And, Yes, it has been weeks since N E 1 other than Brodie has posted. None of that, however, helps me wrap my head around this “top 100 ” list. Pulp Fiction (meh), The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (ugh), and Titanic (splorch) as the first, second and third spots could signal the end of days, man. Seven seals and four horsemen are upon us, and wotnot.
First of all, one of the selections is three(3) damn movies that, no, do not “live and breath ” as one. Titanic is all but unwatchable unless its for the chill of witnessing passengers plummet perilously to the sea as the ship snaps in twain, or seeing Leo slip into silent slumber beneath the surf(damn thats fun, roq). Pulp Fiction did show us that non-linear stories could be fun, and how anal rape = blowtorch pliers. Did you give a damn about any of those characters, go ahead ask yourself. No! Not even Samwise or his fukn‘ Po-Ta-Toe’s. “We need e-mow-shun-awl cawn-tent”(obscure ref. +1). IMHO, four of these 3 movies were masturbatory exercises of Lucas-like proportions(lucas–ian?), and Pulp Fiction is a real good flik at best.
Classics? I say thee nay!
Pulp Fiction will continue to gain steam and eventually, somewhere down the line, be crowned the successor to The Godfather as greatest film of all time for many people. Do I agree with it? Well, that shit was pretty good, man and may have earned the top stop on the list. LotR, I’ll give it top 10 status. Titanic….well, that just not right. I think the hype from the film goes to the fact that it was an underdog: people were writing the film off months ahead of it release due to all the troubles in production it had and once it did come out (if I remember correctly, it open 2nd in the domestic box office) it maintained it’s flow of money and it came out as the biggest moneymaker of all time!
Pulp Fiction was great! Top Ten, I don’t think so. And the other two are masturbatory? Its funny you should say that. Anyway, Titanic off the top ten, LOTR remains, and NO it’s not just for Legolas. I can watch a movie without it having some fine male-ass in it. And as someone who enjoys poking people left in right, the scene when Uma gets stabbed with the needle in the heart, AWESOME! –yaguey.