Debbie Blog: Fresno, You’re Cool!

In great anticipation of my friend brodiemash’s project, “Fresno, You’re Cool,” (hint, hint) and also because I need to get out more, I’ve decided to attempt to write about what makes Fresno, well, Fresno. (I say “attempt” because we all know what a crappy, inconsistent blogger I am.)

Fresno is different for the hundreds of thousands of people who live here. Some like the heat, others like the location, some dig the healthy mix of cultures and some just can’t wait to get the heck out of dodge. But no matter what part of Fresno people live in, and whether they like beer pong or white wine spritzers, most Fresnans can agree on one thing: barbeque is delicious.

Last Friday I decided to invite some friends over for tasty smoked grub. It was a great idea in theory, until I realized that I have no idea how to barbeque. I don’t even own a barbeque. (Apparently my George Foreman Grill doesn’t count.)

Not to be deterred, we headed over to Famous Dave’s to stuff our faces with some barbequed deliciousness. Now, I’ve had Famous Dave’s takeout, but I hadn’t ever been in the actual restaurant before. As I sit here typing, several days later, I still wonder if it’s a place even people deep in the Appalachian hills might find a tad distasteful. I also fear that visiting foreigners eat there and think signs that say “Swine Dining Area” and rolls of paper towels on the tables instead of neatly folded napkins characterize the manners and thought patterns of the majority of Americans.

All of the shouting, bell clinging and swine bloodbath signs (pigs beware!) almost distracted us from our true mission: barbeque. From the burgers, chicken and ribs to the six different sauces, garlic mashed potatoes and brownie sundaes (oh my!), we ate a little piece of “Rich & Sassy” Heaven and left with bellies that rivaled Old Saint Nick’s.

But the fun didn’t stop there … Fresno has much more flavor to offer than mouth-watering meat (interpret that as you will)! All that finger-lickin’ goodness left us ready to rock as we headed over to Tokyo Garden for some face time with the karaoke mic. Friday nights people! You too can be a singing sensation!

It was a challenge not to pee my pants, especially because I don’t have the benefit of my good ol’ friend “liquid courage” at this point, but I’ll pretend my duet with Travis singing “Picture” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow was a show stealer. In actuality, it was probably more like brodiemash singing MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This.”

But in spite of all the Friday night Fresno fun, my favorite place to be was snug as a barbequed bug in my bed, wondering if I should call the cops on the neighborhood weirdo before he gets the chance to jump the backyard fence and mug me in my sleep.

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